Sometimes, the new year doesn’t start off fresh. The world doesn’t pause at 11:59 and press play at 12:01. You don’t get to kiss him. You don’t get to change your haircut. You don’t get to reinvent your story. You don’t get to flip the page. You exist as you already are, drifting forward on the tips of your toes until you bump into something. And hopefully it bumps back and your eyes flicker open.