I’m just going to start off by saying that if you’re reading this at work, stop.
This post is NSFW. All of these songs have content that might get you in trouble.
I’ve always been able to get away with cussing. I think it’s my cutesy, girlish voice; it seems to be able to soften even the Professor McGonagalliest of hearts. Growing up, it was always my sister whose diet consisted of a steady supply of Dove soap (hurray for double standards!). I’ve been trying to cut back on swearing, and have instead practiced a range of dirty looks that are much more immature and hilarious.
Just found out about this band after creating the online ticket sales for them at the Sled Island Music Festival. Every time I see another female crying for a really lame reason, I find myself thinking “fuck her tears!“. SO WHAT IF YOUR COOKIES DIDN’T TURN OUT. MAKE ANOTHER BATCH. PUT IN A TAMPON.
- MP3: Shave My Pussy – Chad Vangaalen
Oh Chad Vangaalen; you know exactly what it’s like to be a modern girl. As a tween who snuck old copies of Cosmopolitan out of her older friends’ bedrooms, I can attest that many a girl places her self-worth in the tidiness of her hedges.
According to Girls, all you need to be a Big Bad Mean Motherfucker:
– Short jean shorts
– Ice cream cone
No mention of actual mothers, but I guess they just gravitate toward you when you have a dripping vanilla cone and frayed denim shorts hanging off your bony hipster ass.
I always find myself singing this with a bunch of my whitest, nerdiest friends. Makes me feel +1 cool. Makes me look +1 lame.
Thinking of other songs with swears? Leave a comment and help me build my library!