As far as apocalypses go, The Rapture has been pretty sneaky. So sneaky in fact, that if I didn’t know better, I’d swear nothing was happening at all.
I spent most of my time lying on the grass outside with my golden retriever, contemplating how pretty the sky was. As the sun travelled further west and my feet remained firmly planted on the ground, I went inside to do some research. My highly credible sources informed me that the dying stuff won’t even happen until October 21st, 2011. I’m sure that the flames bursting out of the earth will make a lovely addition to the fall foliage.
Something tells me that there won’t be any good music up there in Heaven. Maybe it’s because all of the music I’ve ever heard in church has made me want to kill myself. So while there’s still time, here are some great songs to put you in a Salvation-y mood.
With lyrics like:
When the earth folded in on itself
And said “Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
Are really there, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
You wasted life, why wouldn’t you waste death?
this Modest Mouse track from 2004’s Good news for People Who Love Bad News is the perfect grumpy pre-Rapture reflection piece.
Despite its perky little banjo, soulful oohs and yeahs, and mellow clarinet, this song has rather murky lyrics.
When I’m dead is when I’ll be free.
Light it on fire.
You can use the kerosene.
Awful Bliss is my favourite Guided By Voices song. The weather today was so beautiful that I would’ve been totally fine with being Rapture’d. Short and sweet, much like our deaths will likely be, this song makes me think of all of the best things in life: acoustic guitars, basic harmonies, and fighting with your loved ones (“I’m hitting you because I love you!”)
Much like The Palm Sunday Tornado in this instrumental track from Sufjan Steven’s 2006 Illinoise-outtake album The Avalanche, the Rapture will wipe away all of the loosest, flimsiest articles of civilization (read: “believers”), leaving only the well-built stuff behind. The eerie feeling that I get from listening to The Palm Sunday Tornado also makes me think it would make a great post-apocalypic, picking-through-the-rubble, searching for the bodies of your loved ones kind of song.
There are still four hours left for us to die (Eastern Standard Time). So just in case we all perish in a gorgeous sea of flames, it’s been nice knowin’ ya!